The letter from Scott Weiland’s ex-wife is devastating

2 years ago Liv Carter Comments Off on The letter from Scott Weiland’s ex-wife is devastating
scott weiland death ex-wife letter
via rollingstone.com

I’m sure many people feel they get to have an opinion about the far-too-early death of Stone Temple Pilots singer, Scott Weiland, but one that really counts is by Mary Forsberg Weiland, his ex-wife and mother of their two kids.

She wrote a devastating letter, published in Rolling Stone, in which she calls December 3rd, 2015 “the last day he could be propped up in front of a microphone for the financial benefit or enjoyment of others.”

Damn.

It’s a heartbreaking read. The story of the devastation of addiction coupled with a public career. She blames Scott, sure, but also the environment in which he lived, an environment that glorifies partying and drug use, and where far too few people spoke up.

But at some point, someone needs to step up and point out that yes, this will happen again – because as a society we almost encourage it. We read awful show reviews, watch videos of artists falling down, unable to recall their lyrics streaming on a teleprompter just a few feet away. And then we click “add to cart” because what actually belongs in a hospital is now considered art.

Drunk road stories and legendary party tales are told in exchange for rock star credibility. And that is utterly ridiculous. We have allowed more than enough creative talents to start down the road to self-destruction. And sure, yeah, free will, blah blah blah, but we are just looking to absolve ourselves if we ignore the effect of a drug-glorifying culture.

Tabloids detailed every aspect of Whitney Houston, or Amy Winehouse’s, demise and we’re buying those magazines by the millions, using their misery for entertainment and to prop ourselves up, because, hey, we are so sure that we wouldn’t get that fucked up if we were in their shoes, so it must be all their own fault for being weak, right?

At the same time, the life of the hard-living rock star is still idealized and romanticized. Young musicians are made to feel that if they’re not getting drunk, high, shooting up, or snorting something, they’re just not doing it right. But that is such bullshit.

Nobody needs to be running off to a monastery either, overindulgence will always be part of the larger-than-life existence of the famous, and that’s fine. But we really should make more time for an uncomfortable discussion about the enabling we all do, especially of those who have lost the ability to protect themselves.

Because this is what it is like to share a life with someone who is part of that culture.

This is the final step in our long goodbye to Scott. Even though I felt we had no other choice, maybe we never should have let him go. Or maybe these last few years of separation were his parting gift to us – the only way he could think to soften what he knew would one day crush us deep into our souls. Over the last few years, I could hear his sadness and confusion when he’d call me late into the night, often crying about his inability to separate himself from negative people and bad choices. I won’t say he can rest now, or that he’s in a better place. He belongs with his children barbecuing in the backyard and waiting for a Notre Dame game to come on. We are angry and sad about this loss, but we are most devastated that he chose to give up.

Mary ends with a plea:

Our hope for Scott has died, but there is still hope for others. Let’s choose to make this the first time we don’t glorify this tragedy with talk of rock and roll and the demons that, by the way, don’t have to come with it. Skip the depressing T-shirt with 1967-2015 on it – use the money to take a kid to a ballgame or out for ice cream.

Damn.

 

Liv Carter

Liv Carter

Liv is a career coach for creatives, and the people who work with them.
She holds several certificates from Berklee College of Music, and a certificate in Positive Psychology from UC Berkeley.
Her main influences are coffee, cats, and Alexander Hamilton.
Liv Carter